Beard Shavings, Sticky Note, and a Gallon of Milk

Do you ever have those days where you are just mad at the world? Where you just want to punch someone for wearing stupid lime green pants? Where it seems like everything you do just seems to make you angrier and angrier?

Today was that day for me. As my mother-in-law would put it, my panties are in a complete bunch and just keep winding tighter. You would think that I got the worst news of my life. You would think that I didn't sleep last night. You might even think that I had gotten into a fight with my best friend. None of this happened. I can't even tell you one specific thing that lead to my panties wadding up. I guess because it was a line of events. It began with a conversation with a co-worker, that lead to a discussion with a patient, and then I began to realize my name tag no longer had my name on it. It had Dumb Butt engraved on it for the world to see. Not because I don't know how to do my job but because it seems as though the world decided to treat me as though I knew how to do nothing. They decided to explain things to me like I had not taken any of the steps that I know I should follow. Another patient literally came in with a sticky note with a deadline on it of something she needed completed. I faxed it in my final 15 minutes. Trying to think of what I was going to do when I got home to make myself feel better, I began to think about what to make for dinner. I realized it would require a gallon of milk. I messaged a family member, who mind you was off today, if they had gotten some. They are also the person who will drink half the gallon as soon as you get in the door with it. I got a response of no they hadn't as they proceeded to thank me for getting it. Then, I came home to beard shavings all over the bathroom sink. I was so mad. I threw a towel or two. Not because a beard shaving means a lot, but because it was one more thing to add to my day. I walked out of the bathroom to hear "hello, how was your day?" I did not respond. Just walked in my bedroom and shut the door. I am mad and for this moment want to continue to be angry. No one was getting off that easy.

So, now I am sitting on my bed watching Friends. It makes me smile. So, I am going to shut off my phone, watch Friends, and have dinner complete with the milk I purchased on my way home. The world with begin just to disappear in the distance. Tomorrow is always new with no mistakes in it. So, tomorrow, I will start over with a better attitude.

"I watch out my window as the planes take off into space. Oh, that I could fly away and start fresh. But I must realize that fresh starts also come in the pretty wrapped gift called 'tomorrow'."
-Unknown

My Crazy Mind

I stress about everything in my life. From what to wear today to if I wear these earrings, something bad will happen. I think it all goes back to when I was little.

Every Halloween, I dressed up for school. I usually spent the day not only looking stupid, but at some point, I would feel stupid. You see every year something happened and a teacher totally embarrassed me. One year, I took a math test. I felt like I did awesome. That I had just blown it out of the water. The teacher graded all of our tests. Mine was last. He came to mine and decided not only to go over the test with the class, but to ask the class the questions and get their answers. He then proceeded to tell them my answer and they all laughed. It seemed like the never ending day.

The next year, my English teacher decided to go around the room and give our grade for the six weeks out loud in front of the entire class. As I sat in my chair with my hair in stupid pig ears, she called out my name, followed by a grade that I truly don't remember. All I know is, it was followed by, "What has happened to you? Your grades are horrible. I am really disappointed." My hair became completely soaked by the tears I wiped from my eyes.

Another year, I wore a skirt as part of my costume. As I walked into school, I slipped and fell down the steps in front of the entire gym full of students.

Needless to say, I hate Halloween. I say all of that to say, my stupid mind works in a crazy way. As I said before I constantly worry about everything. If I wear this today, will something bad happen?

I understand that every decision we make effects our lives differently. But do the choices we make, cause a spiraling results that can ultimately change our destiny. How much does one decision change our life? At this moment in time, I am awaiting a big answer that will ultimately determine the rest of my life. I know what I want the answer to be, but I am not sure. I have always been one to believe in the power of prayer. But do you ever feel as though your life is in someone else's hands entirely and can anything change His mind? I have prayed constantly for this situation. I asked some friends if I buy something, will it change the outcome? I got so many different answers. But one said, "It will not change the outcome, but if you do buy something, you will always feel that it did."

So, tomorrow, I will wonder as I put on my shoes, if the shoes I put on my feet will effect my destiny. I will wonder if every decision I make will change my life path completely. The only thing I can hope for..... regardless where my life takes me or what happens, I am happy and with the ones I love most.

"I seldom end up where I wanted to go,

but almost always end up where I need to be."

- Douglas Adams