I can honestly say looking back over this year, I properly titled this blog. So much has happened since my last blog - a house, celebrated 7 years of marriage, and welcomed a baby into our new home. We do not tend to do things the simple way. We don't just get one puppy, we get two. We don't buy a house that has a firm foundation, but one that has to be loaded on a big truck, moved through a semi-forest, and resettled. Why would a baby be any different? We didn't wait the typical 9 months for a beautiful baby. Now, don't take that wrong, we have been waiting a very long time for our baby, but he didn't come along as many expect. It all began with a simple phone call which began many months of tears, excitement, and memories. Some days, I have to pinch myself to make sure I am awake and some days, I am so afraid of getting up and finding out it was all too good to be true. I guess that is human nature to believe that something this amazing was too great to be true.
I guess I can say with all of the above, I am tired. There are days I just feel like sitting down and crying. There are days I feel like running so far away not because I am not happy but because the world seems to small. Sometimes, I feel as though life begins to take us over and we wake up without a voice. Hello? Do you hear me? If you know me, I am not very good at expressing my anger. It usually comes across as either I'm crazy or I just sound ridiculious because I can't put it into words. Do you ever feel like saying, "It's my turn! Did you forget me?" Do you ever feel life just slipping by while you just hang on. Do you ever wake up and say, "This is not what I had pictured for my life." We find ourselves going through each day to only get to the next one. I go to bed and question what I did and what I should have done better. How could I be a better mom? Did I make any mistakes today that I have to check into tomorrow? Did I get the record done today? I want to be that wife who makes an amazing dinner and bakes cookies with her children to take to school the next day. I am so blessed to be a mom of such an amazing baby boy. I want him to have a wonderful experience growing up. Most of all, it has gone by so fast, I don't want to miss a single second. Growing up, you always think you are going to be that amazing mom who can do it all.
I don't really have one certain idea for this blog. This is just a bunch of feelings and hopes for the rest of the year. For the rest of 2010...oh the possibilities.
"The best things in life are unexpected-
because there were no expectations."
-Eli Khamarov
